Welcome to 2012

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
Wow, 2012. Is it just me or does it feel like time is zipping by?
Now that it's a new year, it's also another huge opportunity to start something fresh... perhaps a new diet for the weight concious? Haha, yup, that's definitely me.
I know that I should weight myself today and have a start weight in mind, but I've been indulging during the holidays. But I'm not upset about it at all, I gave myself permission to have what I want. My reason for letting myself let go? Well, a lot of family issues came up like my grandmother's passing and my dad's move to his overseas business as well as celebrating in general. There were a lot of dinners, get-togethers, celebrating like it was our last as a family, and drinking at a club (which I have to tell you guys about), and smoking up, etc. They may sound like excuses not to lose weight but I don't want my ED thoughts to ruin my life and my fun, again. What's the point of living life if I can't enjoy it? I can safely say that I'm somewhat ED recovered, but my 'thoughts' about weight and calories still linger in the back of my mind. I still have the desire to lose the weight and to look fabulous, but I only want it if I can maintain a stable mood and still be the me that I am.

Since it's the first day of the new year I feel really motivated to get shit done. So today, I'm going to consume around 1000cal to 1300cal. It may seem like a lot to those who are the restrictive type, but again, I'm trying to lose weight the healthy way since I don't want my muscles to wither away and just be left with fat cells. I don't want to be a walking bag of fat even though I may 'look' normal.
I work today so that's going to be a bit of a challenge. Fuck, I hate working in a coffee shop. A lot of things are tempting but it's a good thing we don't get any of the pastries for free. I'm pretty good at not buying pastries now because who the hell wants to buy unwanted calories that you'll regret later? But it's the not pastries I'm worried about, it's the drinks I have a bit of anxiety with. Firstly, they're free. Secondly, even the soy milk is heavy on the calories. Thirdly there's not a lot of options, when you don't like coffee, that tastes good and is low in calories.
I'll probably end up drinking large, mild, coffee with splenda and a splash of soy. It normally comes to about 150cal if I'm feeling super generous with the soy; otherwise it would be just 100cal.

After work I'll probably have some steamed veggies, derp on my laptop, plan for the following days.
UGH... I'm dreading going to work but it shouldn't be too busy since a lot of people aren't willing to spend money after the holiday. Woo hoo, January! It's the laziest work month ever! :D

Anyhoo, I've made blogging a daily resolution of mine, so hopefully I'll blog as much as I can.
It's hard to get some privacy when you live with someone else who's home more often then you.

Well ladies, have a happy new year and a great first day.
Let's not fuck anything up so we don't screw ourselves over for the entire year!
We can do it.
Just think of that perfect body when it's 2013!!

<3