No Turning Back

I just woke up a few minutes ago. My body said that I had enough sleep and decided to keep me awake until I go to bed again, so I'm wide awake and a little grumpy.
Since yesterday's eating went well, I felt super confident and grabbed my scale (which I haven't used in a couple weeks) and ran to the bathroom. I locked the door, had a morning pee, and got naked, took a deep breath, tapped my scale alive,and jumped on as evenly as I could.
I waited... and waited...
Then to my delight, it read 125lbs.
A couple of weeks ago, or maybe it was a month, I jumped on the scale and saw 124.5lbs. So even though I gained half a pound within a month, I'm so relieved I didn't gain any more with my holiday indulging.

So now that I have 125lbs in the back of my mind, I need to do some calculating...
My ULTIMATE GOAL WEIGHT is 99lbs, a BMI of 17.
It says in http://caloriecount.about.com I need to eat 1,311cal a day until July 2nd, 2012, to be 99lbs. Bullshit.
But I guess this is a good guideline on where to start.
I plan on eating 900-1000cal daily until I reach my goal, I don't care how long it takes, I just want to get there.
My last anorexic diet was 750cal or less a day and I dropped 20 pounds in 2 months with light activity, so this new diet shouldn't be too hard at all.
I wanted to give myself more calories than last time because I'm a bit heavier and I don't want my muscles to waste right away on 750cal.
So, I'll be having at least 900cal, maximum 1000cal. I'm expecting to lose the weight by late spring early summer. I'm also expecting some binging, slip-ups, and inescapable meals.
I'll be weighing myself everyday to keep my motivated.

I just keep thinking about the clothes I want to wear, and the different attention I'll be getting from other people. Maybe RM will find me irresistible and treat me with more respect, or love me even more.
I just know that I'll be happier when I am my goal weight. I'll be more confident, prettier, and loveable.

Today, I work from 1:30 to 10:00pm. I'll just force myself to drink coffee all day.
Now, I'll probably have...
- 2 packs of instant coffee, 5cal
- 1/2 cup of Almond Milk, 15
- 3 packets of Splenda, 10cal
- Lots of water!!!
Breakfast Total: 30cal

Then at work I'll have...
- Large Coffee w/ Steamed Soy & 3 Splendas - 100cal
- 2 slices of toast with Vegan Margarine -250cal
- RFTB Breakfast Sandwich - 320cal

Then afterwork, I'll have...
- 320g of Broccoli, steamed - 110cal
- 1 225g Apple (with core) - 115cal

Grand Total of...
925!!

Anyways, I've gotta get ready for work and make my coffee.
I'll update later ladies.
<3