120.0lbs

Well, this weight came sooner than expected if you look at it from the beginning of the year. I was probably a bit over 125 pounds and now that it's 12 days into the year I've lost a bit more than 5 pounds... I don't know if that's healthy, but I did occasionally go over my caloric intake by either 200-300cal.
It feels odd to be this weight because I'm thinking about times in the past where I was 120lbs.
Before my eating issues, I thought that 120 pounds was normal and that I didn't think I needed to lose any weight... until grade 10, I was constantly comparing myself with other girls in my grade. They were tall, blonde, skinny, pretty, and popular... they ruled the school and I wanted to be just like them.
After my eating issues, 120 pounds was a brief visit since I ate myself fat for recovery. I didn't see it at all since I binged without thinking. Eating to me was pleasure and torture at the same time, I didn't care would happen to me because I was also severely depressed.
Now that I am this weight again it feels odd, but good; I feel as if I'm headed towards the right direction...  a declining weight.
I feel like I have a grip (not a very strong one) on my eating habits. I just need to tell myself that I'm worth the pain and effort because I deserve to be happy, and I deserve to have the control, and I deserve to make my body into the body that I've always wanted. I deserve to be everything that I've always dreamed of

I need to motivate myself with more thinspiration and knowledge. I need to get my nutrition with supplements now, and I need to start looking into low impact exercises so that I can maintain my true body without any health complications.

Today... I don't know what I'll be having since I'll just be bumming around home. Since I'm sick I should be eating more calories but I'm going to take the risk and starve my body into being better. I'll still have my usual 900-1000cal target, but it'll have to be planned out a little better.

Anyway, I'll be updating every time I eat something throughout the day.
Till next time...

UPDATE: @ 11.54am
Spinach Feta Wrap: 280cal
1 Flower Kiss Japanese Hard Candy: 25cal
Total: 305

UPDATE: @ 2:38pm
85g Spinach - 20cal
100g Cucumber - 15cal
2 Tbsp Raspberry Dressing - 60g
Salad Total: 95cal

UPDATE: @ 4:30pm
Oatmeal: 240cal

UPDATE: @ 10:39pm
RFTBB Sandwich: 320cal
Apple, 181g: 95cal

TOTAL: 1055cal