I was having a hard time fasting today so I've decided to do the smart thing and just carry on with my 1200 or under diet. I mean, a couple days of over indulgence isn't going to hurt me when this whole diet thing is going to be my new life. My healthy-self forced me to do this whereas my ED-self is a bit choked and disappointed that I wasn't strong enough to fast. There's always a battle between the two ever since I've recovered and started this whole thing up again.
I want to be able to function properly and yet lose weight. I want to be able to lose weight and still enjoy some of the foods I couldn't eat before. I know I'm strong enough to make it happen, I just need to do it in a way where it'll become a habit for the rest of my life. Counting calories is becoming a habit already, so I have that under by belt, but I want avoiding bad foods to be a stronger habit than that.
Ugh... It's so hard sometimes...
No comments:
Post a Comment