Exhausted Thoughts

So yes, I'm back again. Blogging. It seems to be the only thing I look forward to at the end of the day. Venting, as you all know, is a great way to keep you (somewhat) sane.
Work. Was. Insane. Period.
1pm to 8pm, it was non-stop work. I don't think I've ever worked a busier day. It almost scared me but luckily I survived it.
I worked with the boys again; JK and TP.
Now that I look at JK more, the more I find him so unattractive. He drinks, goes to the casino, spends money, smoke, WAY too much. He sounds like a fucking dumbass every time he opens his mouth, he's lazy, brain-dead, and fucking stupid. I'm embarrassed that I even did anything with him. I've already started to ignore him at work, and I'm actually glad that he doesn't text me anymore. I hope he doesn't like me in that way anymore because I'm not seeing too much effort on his part. Lol. Oh well.
TP, my super-tall, gay, and fun co-worker, is impressing me with his generosity and his eagerness to help me with my tasks. I was so far behind with my shit I was freaking out, then I look over to see what TP's doing and he's doing my least favourite and most time consuming task. Of course, he didn't finish all of it because he had other things to do, but the thought of it was nice. Too bad JK isn't like that. JK should learn a few things from TP.
JK is a joke. Lol. Pun slightly intended.
My caloric intake for the day, so far, has been super great. I had...
- Starbucks Egg Florentine: 360cal
- Whey Protein Shake: 130cal
- Chicken Baguette Sammie: 340cal
- Another Chicken Baguette Sammie: 340cal
So that all adds to... 1170 calories! If I don't eat anything tonight, then I've completed my daily goal. Woohoo!
Tomorrow and the day after that are my days-off. I think I'll go Christmas shopping for NS(my roomie) and RM. They both need clothes badly. Lol. NS needs a nice expensive shirt because she's the type of girl who loves 'Guess', stuff from 'Aritzia', 'Bebe', etc. The higher end stuff, but she can't afford it most of the time unless things are on sale. So I'll get her a nice shirt that's super girly but edgey at the same time. And for RM, he lost a lot of weight since I've known him and all of his shirts fit kinda funny, so I'll get him his first men's small flannel top. As for everyone else, I think I'll just write some cards because I'm poor and I can't afford everyone's gifts on the wage I'm making.
I've also decided that I'm not going to visit my family for Christmas, and instead spend it by myself. I know it's a selfish thing to do but after what happened between my brother, cousins, and I, I don't think I'd be able to handle anything family-related too well. Plus, I don't have a desire to see them at all. I just don't feel like I belong in that family.
Long story short, I was mildly beaten by my parents and severely abused and bullied by my brother so I can't trust my family with anything. This made me spiral into a self-loathing mindset which made me turn anorexic because I wanted to be perfect, and fat people are never perfect. Lol. So yeah, that's me. Sometimes all my issues overwhelm me, and since I only depend on myself, I get panic attacks if I can't deal with an issue or a problem very well. I don't ask anyone for help or support from people I know personally because I can't trust them no matter how hard I try. I live as if I'm isolated from everyone, yet I'm sociable, friendly, and considered a genuine person.
I guess that's it for the day. I'm tired and I want to dick around on the internet. Lol. Bye~!

Small Little Edit: Lol. Got the munchies and ate 400 calories. But I'll eat 800 calories tomorrow to balance this out. Lol.