RM told me yesterday that he was feeling confused, depressed, and not himself lately. He told me that seeing his ex-girlfriend smile confused him, he told me that I confused him, that everything confused him. Even though our relationship was more along the lines of friend with benefits, he treated me really well, as if I was his girlfriend. What hurts the most was the fact that he said that he needed to take a step back from it all and just have time for himself. That's understandable because when we first met,I interrupted his me-time so I guess he's picking up from where he last left off. I wont be able to stay overnight at his place or even go there. I wont be able to touch him or do any sort of intimate act with him, it would be like the first time we met but this time, there's history behind it all.
It hurts.
It really does.
Because this entire time I thought he and I were going to be together for a while. And I have never connected with a person this well, EVER.
I feel so fucking worthless right now. I don't deserve anything, not even happiness, food, sleep... anything.
It'll probably the only thing on my mind all day....
Fuck, it really hurts...
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